On being self critical

"Who am I? This or the other?
Am I both at the same time? In public, a hypocrite and by
myself a contemptible whining weakling? Who I really am,
you know me, I am thine O God!"-Dietrich Boenhoffer Who am I?

It is interesting to me how excruciatingly difficult it is to be self critical. In a way being too self critical erodes self confidence. It puts you in a place where you question everything. You become like a lot of people I know. You know the type. Frogs hopping from one lillypad to the next and never settling down on anything. Being too self critical gets you to become a spectator in a world that is doubtfully real at best. On the other hand without self criticism we commit the same sin as our spiritual parents and desire to become like "gods". How many times have you heard someone justify their position and how right they are with god? Whether it is going to Indonesia as a missionary or prophesying that a whole city was wiped out in a hurricane because of homosexuality it can all be defended from criticism with the line "Because God told me."

I believe God speaks but I also believe that sometimes and often most of the time we have spiritual earwax and the white noise of this world, our flesh, and satan get in the way of what he is saying. Sometimes it is so powerful that all we hear is a low murmur instead of that still small voice. We end up hearing ourselves and get caught up in some really elusive particulars when all we really can say is we "see through a glass darkly" Most of the time this attitude is pervasive among the religious but with that being said it is also a widespread disease among humanity because most of humanity is religious. from Bill Maher and his misinformed although very much needed critique of popular religion to the religious right and their unbalanced perspective of Christian faith and politics. It seems to me that what we all need including this blogger is a healthy dose of humility and self criticism. Maybe if we engaged in that more we would chafe so much when others criticize us but understand that now we know in part but in the God's realized kingdom we will know fully even as we are fully known.